11 weeks and counting | Ranting, Laughing, Crying

YIPPIE! Baby is the size of a lime... not sure if it's a key lime or just your typical run-of-the-mill lime, but I'm happy just the same. I'm not sure how this lime-sized baby can make my waistline expand to gargantuan sizes so early, but I'm gonna blame it on the obviously VERY LARGE lime growing in my uterus.  

So check this out, I was on a quest for a serious maternity support contraption, as baby #3 is already making my lower back seize up at the most random and inconvenient  awesome times. I mean, it's cool to fall down at home, but not so much dropping your kid off at preschool.. Am I right or what? SO, Nordstroms to the rescue....


I begrudgingly  happily treated myself to this sexy number... doesn't that make you want me? 

PS: I don't look a 16th as good as this chick... so thanks Nordstroms for boasting my maternity confidence from "oh I don't look that bad, to WHAT THE FRENCH TOAST I am horrific!"

 So, yes, this sexy beast is the BEST maternity support piece I've bought. My back says "THANK YOU". For a mere $68, it better be right?? My only question is, do you think they will let me wear it during my c-section?

Kisses & Disses | Ranting, Laughing, Crying

 

Welcome to Kisses & Disses.... 

the part of the blog where I divulge my latest likes and dislikes from the past weeks.

It all started early last week... I was blatantly trying to avoid puking for the 10th time in 2 hours and decided a mid-morning shopping trip would do the trick. I wandered through a neighborhood antique store, browsing for trinkets I just could not live without. Low and behold... I scored on an vintage baby cradle. Within 3 seconds of spotting it, I had to have it. Baby #3 has to have some new swag {well, in this case, very old swag}. Who cares that it took up the ENTIRE back seat of my car to transport home? I mean, who wouldn't understand letting their 4 year old ride in the front seat of the car just this once? I mean, jeeezzz, she wanted to take one for the team {don't judge me}. 

As I pull up in my driveway, hubby comes out to help me unload the "beast" of a cradle into the house. Being such an analytical  engineer buzz kill helper, he looks at the cradle and doesn't say two words. Granted, I am almost jumping up and down with excitement over this magical find. I patiently wait

for his response to my incredible find, and all I am met with are "crickets"... {as in the sound of crickets because the silence is SO deafening} I shrug, and defeatedly make my way into the house... reminding myself that there isn't much that gets my hubby excited.

This leads me to this weeks kisses & disses.....

DISSES

- husbands not understanding how important rare, 1840's cradle's are to their wives

-Lord help me, I swear hubby carries a stale loaf of bread in his pants so he can 

scatter crumbs Shawshank Redemption-style on my floors.

- Pregnancy insomnia... so reading is cool, but not when you read an entire library worth of books every night! 

-Listening to hubs OBSESS NAG SEARCH DREAM dive me NUTS trying to find an iPad2.... DUDE CHILL OUT.... you'll get one eventually, and PS buying the dang thing so you can watch movies on the plane less than once a month is a little ridiculous. 

- Antique dolls. Not sure why, but they freak me out!

KISSES!

- Anything related to Pride and Prejudice. I just finished 2 books by Sharon Lathan extending this incredible love story. I can't wait to read the next 4 books in her series!

-Dr. Pepper, enough said

- Staring at my spin bike {because it's just as good as riding it}

- Preparing for the tasting show this weekend at Camas Meadows {let's hope I can manage to NOT forget anything vital; like my sample albums, or price sheets, or a pen for that matter}

-Depression milk glass because it makes me feel like I'm listening to a Harry Connick Jr. song while sitting in a rocking chair on a porch at sunset.

Sexy Attributes of a Pregnant Mom | Ranting, Laughing, Crying

Being pregnant has some incredible attributes that I just cannot go without sharing. This is baby #3 for me, and let me just say that if I thought I was large with my first child, boy was I mistaken. I already look like I've eaten the baby #1 version of myself for breakfast! UGH! I am one of those cursed  blessed women, who show about 2 minutes after conception. Don't get me wrong, I mean, who doesn't love a cute baby bump right? BUT when your bump leads people to ask when you are due and you say "October" problems begin to arise. It's hard to explain my Hindenburg appearance so early in my pregnancy. 


Already my closet is sporting maternity clothes and as cute as those might be, I'm already bored with my belly enhancing attire. I secretly try to sneak in a normal piece of my regular wardrobe but one glance in the mirror sends me into a deep "sigh". So, I guess my thong Brazilian bikini I wore in Hawaii this past November is out of the question? :-) We wouldn't want anyone trying to push me back out to sea after mistaking me for a beached whale. I mean how would I explain that one at play group? "How was your weekend? Oh it was fun, a group from PETA found me on the beach and tried to reunite me with my underwater family." Ah the joys of being pregnant!


Every morning I wake up and puke for a good five minutes. I talk myself up by saying things like "think how hot your abs will be after 9 months of this!!" Oh the joys. I sport the most lame FASHIONABLE sea sickness bracelets on my wrists, just to be sure people know which club I'm rooting for these days. I mean seriously, could someone throw me a bone and design some of these suckers that aren't elephant grey? 


My 4 year old DEMANDS nicely asks me to tell EVERYONE WE MEET that I am pregnant. Hey MOM, You better tell them about the baby in your tummy! Yes dear, mommy will get right on it. So now, in case my physique didn't give it away, I currently yell out LOOK AT ME I'M PREGNANT at the top of my lungs as I enter any retail establishment. I know, it sounds extreme, but I am so tired these days that I just don't have the energy to tell each person in the store individually. 


I'm so lazy tired fatigued moody weepy  motivated that I take a nap just about every single day. AWESOME right? It's like I'm back in preschool except I don't get a nice teacher bringing me a snack at 11am. Thank goodness my 4 year old still naps, or I would really have a pickle on my hands. 


As each week goes by I laugh at the life I lead. This glamours lifestyle of being a mother is just fabulous! Who needs heels when they make stretchy pants?? Lactating at 8 weeks pregnant? Cool right? Nothing like hearing a screaming baby in the mall and having let-down through your shirt... awesome. "Why's your shirt wet? Oh, I'm a pro wet t-shirt contest athlete... didn't you know?" 


Seriously though, all these magical attributes make me feel extra special. They remind me of the little baby growing inside me and how great everything will be  when a healthy baby is in my arms... and how I wait for the day to tell my kids "PAYBACK IS A BITCH"

Laundry Nemesis | Ranting, Laughing, Crying

I'm not sure how my relationship with laundry got so off track, but let me just say that I have a HATE HATE relationship with it. How in the hell do I have 12 loads of laundry for the 3 of us? It makes NO sense to me, and yet every couple weeks, there my nemesis appears. Despite my thorough attempts to catch up on it, it never seems to end. I have stooped as low as to throw laundry parties at my house with my mother, who diligently sits and folds mountain of clothes with me. Last week, it was so bad that multiple days she took baskets of laundry home to wash at her house! WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME? 


I completely agree that this is MY issue; that if my laziness and lack of motivation would cease, I might in fact FINISH my damn laundry. I'd like to blame having a rambunctious 4 year old, having a husband who works from home, being 9 weeks pregnant, the rainy weather, not having enough caffeine.... but in reality, I just need to SUCK IT UP and finish my dang laundry.


Life is getting grim in my ripe old age of 27. I sit and fantasize of a day when I have a laundry service, who not only does all my laundry on a weekly basis, but who also puts it ALL AWAY. I mean, who dreams that pathetically at my age? But hey, I'm gonna' keep it real and say it is in my top 10 of dreams at this point in my life. 


As I ponder baby #3's arrival in October, I'm attempting to psych myself up for darling newborn laundry. Maybe it won't be so bad... let's pray they create pills for inducing an obsessive need for doing laundry by then!