Something EVERY parent should be aware of | Ranting, Laughing, Crying

I am part of a home-schooling network and just received this documentary that focuses on the loss of parental rights in the USA. I was appalled and disheartened by this shocking information. I have been aware of some of the issues discussed in this documentary, but not to the extent to which they have already risen to. Please, take the time to watch this video so that you too can be informed about your rights as a parent. This is a cause worth fighting for!

Life in the Hospital | Ranting, Laughing, Crying

This past week has been a whirlwind to say the least. Sunday, July 24th, 2011, I suffered a full placenta abruption and was taken into emergency surgery. Enzo was born at 5:10am at 2 lbs 7 oz. As I laid in post op recovery, I was overwhelemed with how surreal everything felt. Just a mere 2 years and a few days ago, I was in the same situation at the same hospital.

 I sit, watching the sunrise through the window in recovery. Pinks and oranges slowly warm the sky and evergreens and the earth slowly comes to life under the golden sun. Beyond the curtain, I watch the NICU team working on Enzo. I know he is bigger and doing well for now. I am relieved to be close enough to hear the soft murmurs of these "angels" in blue caring for my son. I'm in shock... I'm not pregnant! Didn't we just go through this? Deep breaths usher in clear thoughts as I attempt to wrap my head around Enzo's early arrival.

As I'm tranferred to my room, Scott is still at Enzo's side. I breath a sigh of relief as I'm told he is 2lbs 7 oz. Tears trace my cheeks as the doctor says, he is NOT intiabted... but just on a nasal c-pap machine and room oxygen! Praise Jesus for protecting our Enzo. Waves of relief start to enevlop me, knowning things are so different this time around than they were with Leo. Excitement reaches my face and I can't help but smiling and praising God for this miracle.

That afternoon I meet Enzo for the first time and my heart triples in size instantly. My 2lb buddle of joy is beautiful, with dark hair and perfect fingers. He recognizes my voice and is soothed as I caress his hand. Tears trail my face looking at my beautiful son. His perfect form amazes me, and I am anxious for the day I can bring him home.

The week has been long and physically painful. I lost 1700 cc's of blood between my abruption and surgery. Day 1 post op, I was given 2 units of blood. Day 2 post op, I was given 2 more additional units. My incision is the worst one I've had; bruised from my panty line to the bottom of my pelvic bone. The pain has been quite intense. But, despite it all, I am BEYOND BLESSED! Holding my tiny son for the first time changed my life forever. There is nothing I wouldn't endure for him.

I am back in the hospital again due to horrible pain. An abdominal CT scan revelaed that I have blood in my abdomen. Since Friday, I have been laid up trying to get my pain under control. Things are finally improving this Monday morning, and hopefully we will have some real answers after more tests this morning.

As I held Enzo last night against my chest, my heart soared. This precious baby is so incredible and already such a fighter. I long for the day to take him home. For now, I can settle with soft caresses  and stolen kisses on his tiny cheeks.

God has been preparing me for this for some time. My patience and strength are all from Him. I know that He is control of everything and that my role is being the best mommy I can be to Nevaeh and Enzo. I am so blessed to let go of my need for control in order for Enzo to get the best care he can get. It is so hard to leave his room at night, but it also means another day closer to bringing Enzo home.

We are beyond blessed to have our family and friends on this journey with us. Your prayers for our family are so touching and just show the strength and healing of the power of prayer!

I will be writing more updates as things progess. Thank you for your continued prayers!

With Love,
Scott, Kellene, Nevaeh, and Enzo

Slight break down tonight

Slight break down tonight

This whole weeks has been crazy. Saturday was so scary and here I am in the hospital with a 2lb baby in NICU. I love him and am so afraid. I just want to know he will be okay. I fear the months ahead of us and the unknown facts of his health and ability to come home. Once again life had thrown me a curve ball and I'm just waiting to see what will happen next. Here alone in the hospital I struggle with things to focus on. My grand ideas of bringing home a baby are put on hold and once again I get to relinquish control and trust God's plan for Enzo.

My pain is intense as I attempt to recover quickly for Nevaeh. Trying to juggle a husband, a daughter, a son in NICU, and a business is quite a lot at the moment. I am so thankful for everyone's understanding and patience as we attempt to figure out a completely new schedule and routine for our family.

I pray for Enzo and his precious little body. That God would strengthen him, that he would protect him from harm, and continue to allow him to grow stronger and healthier. I pray for our family as we adjust to so many new schedules and emotions. I pray for Nevaeh as she makes difficult adjustments and changes that were unexpected. I pray for patience and understanding in parenting and comforting her. Help Scott and I to be hyper-aware of her needs and struggles throughout this process. I pray that these events would bring our family even closer, and that this experience would be used for Your glory. Use us as you see fit Lord and guide us in Your ways. You know our hearts and our fears. Bring comfort and healing to my body and mind, and strengthen me for the road ahead. Let Your light shine through our precious Enzo and grant us peace that can only come from you. Thank you for blessing us with such amazing family and friends. Their prayers and support are priceless and forever appreciated.

Thank you for all you've given us... All is from you and we are not worthy of any of it. Your love is incredible; with you all is possible.

In Jesus Name, AMEN.

Kellene Maynard, Photographer
(360)518-6837
www.bellaluciaphotography.com
---------------------------------------------
sent from my iPhone

Enzo Anthony Maynard

Introducing Enzo Anthony Maynard
Born Sunday, July 24th, 2011
5:10am 2lbs, 7oz 14.25 inches

Saturday night was very unexpected, as I started bleeding and having contractions. Hubby raced me to the hospital where we found that I was experiencing a full placental abruption (placental detaching from the uterus). After some hours of monitoring, significant bleeding, and pain, I was rushed into an emergency c-section. Enzo was born at 5:10am at 2lbs, 7 oz! After being intibated for a short stint, he was taken off the breathing tube and started on a nasal c-pap to aid in his breathing! He is even using room oxygen! (these are very good things!) Enzo is alert, crying at times, and definitely a fighter!

I am still at the hospital as I lost a lot of blood and am recovering. Here are a few images of my beautiful
Enzo! Stay tuned for more as I continue to post updates via my iphone!

Thank you for your love and prayers! God is good and we are SO blessed for our tiny miracle!

myWaterProject - Kellene Maynard's Fundraising Page

myWaterProject - Kellene Maynard's Fundraising Page

In honor of our son Leo, we are fundraising to build a well in Kenya! If you'd like to help be part of an amazing mission, check this out!

Miracle in a Box | Ranting, Laughing, Crying

This being my 3rd pregnancy, my BIGGEST fear is holding onto 20-30lbs of baby weight. I mean, at 27 things aren't what they used to be. I have friends who mystified me by being able to wear pre-pregnancy pants within 2-3 weeks of birthing their kiddos. WTF! I mean, where is the "fat-mom" camaraderie  I dreamed about... I mean for at least the first 8 weeks for sure! Well, no luck with that one to say the least. I am one of those blessed lucky moms who got to experience the joys of being cut open on an operating table with a fairly good amount of drugs pulsating through my veins. Yes, the drugs were FANTASTIC, but the 12 week healing time on those incisions is no laughing matter! By the time those 12 weeks were up I had NO motivation to rock a bikini... probably because I was leaking through my shirt and excited to get a shower! Now, some of you are going "Awe, don't you want to try for a VBAC?" The answer is NO F#$%ING WAY! Um, PS, trauma to my lady parts is the LAST thing I want to be dealing with while nursing a new baby on 1 hour of sleep while making mac and cheese for my four year old and folding 18 loads of laundry. Let's just say that if not being ripped asunder makes me less of a woman, I DON'T CARE! 


So back to this fear of being fat  robust... I am in a pickle! How the heck can I skinny down (Or convince myself that I am doing all I can to skinny down) after baby #3 is born??? Well have no fear!! INSERT angel's singing and rainbows laced with butterflies HERE! 


Exhibit A

Belly Bandit

Now, supposedly, this sexy number (and by that I am referring to the waist whittling band around her wait and NOT the porn star-esk looking model) is going to make my wildest dreams come true! It sure would be fantastic for this magical contraption to work as well as everyone claims, but I am skeptical. My plan is simple, buy the dang thing, wear the crap out of it, take weekly progress images and pray for a miracle. Hey who knows, by the end of October I might I have found the fountain of youth weight loss and will be wrapping my entire body in these! 

You never know... it could be as simple as that!

Baby Projects | Ranting, Laughing, Crying

This pregnancy, I have a list of projects the size of a small library. We have been blessed with purchasing a new home about 25 minutes away, and though I couldn't be happier about the increase in space (3000 sq ft) and new scenery, packing is not my cup of tea. The house doesn't close escrow until June 21st, so luckily I still have time to completely trash my current 1300 sq foot home while attempting to pack and get ready to move. 

Needless to say, I have not been able to even think about nesting, since we won't be living in this house anyways. So, entering exhibit A... baby projects. With Nevaeh, I was equally enthusiastic about projects, but ditched them early on. With this kiddo, I, for some reason, have found my creative spunk once again. From custom designing my own crib bedding, to hand appliqueing a baby quilt, to sewing custom cradle bedding for the cradle I refinished, I have a plethora of serious projects all calling my name. 

crib bumper design

On top of all this, Nevaeh has decided to ditch her incredible Paris themed bedroom design and is insisting on a pink butterfly room. Though this makes me gag just a little, I suppose she is only 4 once right? So, in my crazy fashion, I've purchased an array of girlie fabrics and butterfly notions in order to create a butterfly sanctuary that I can actually enjoy as well. Here are some of the ideas I have in mind for her room....

debating about these quilts for Nevaeh's bunk beds.... SO STINKING CUTE!

 But this design is really cute too!

Fell in love with these instantly! Heck, I want some for my room!

these awesome ottomans are sure to be a hit!

Moda never disappoints when is comes to their cute fabric collections!

  As I've been exploring options for Miss Nevaeh's room, I came across this and I almost died! My heart is literally going pitter patter!

OMG!

Stinking CUTE right??? Okay so I might have to make a regular curtain version of this for her window.... Oh My Stinking Heck it is cute! What little girl wouldn't love that? 

That's a lot of sewing right? Well, details if you ask me! The house we are moving to is basically our dream house, so perfection is only fitting if ya' know what I mean. Hubby laughs at my new obsession with fabric, but likes all what he sees so far. He's even gotten in on the game and is helping me with baby Enzo's room (that's the new baby who is arriving in October for those of you who haven't heard).

Of course I am all about a "non-theme, theme"... kind of like my "non-plan, plans"... But Hubby, yet again, has to mix things up a bit by choosing this masterpiece to grace Enzo's walls...

So much for a non-theme ehhh? UGH, so yes, this clock DID make me LOL for real, but still, I hope it doesn't turn into a dinosaur monstrosity of a room. Here are a few of the fabrics I picked for the little man's room..

I'm pretty dang happy so far with what I've designed. I found this pattern on the Amy Butler website and modified it to create a crib bumper. For some incredible free patterns, check out: http://www.amybutlerdesign.com/products/free_patterns.php and http://www.modabakeshop.com/p/recipes.html

I'm still trying to decide on a quilt for Enzo's crib. I am currently making a version of this quilt design in Eric Carle fabrics (I found the pattern on Etsy) just as an every day play quilt.

To say I have a lot of projects in the works would be a serious understatement, but I don't mind. I am super excited about them all, and more importantly, they are helping to keep my mind occupied during these next critical weeks of our pregnancy. I am just thankful I found something to throw myself into that is actually productive :-). Let's hope the next time you hear from me I haven't gone over the deep-end hoarding fabric or anything weird like that!

It's a BOY!!! | Rating, Laughing, Crying

We had our first high-risk ultra sound this past week and found out we are expecting a baby BOY! WOOHOO! Hubby and I are STILL were shocked! Just about everyone we spoke to predicted that this baby would be a girl, but low and behold.... he is DEFINITELY a boy!! 

So hubby and I were tasked with choosing a name for this new addition to our family party. Choosing names is tough for us, as our taste in most things are at the opposite ends of the spectrum. You can imagine the list of names H wanted in the running. For instance... He REALLY liked Ryker.... as in the Star Trek guy? UMMMMM I DON'T THINK SO! Scottson.... please please please can we live this one down already?? And of course, Nevaeh had to get in on the action too, picking Raleigh (which I actually like but hubby doesn't). 


We were in a good spot with 3 names in the running: Raleigh, Rylan, and Ryker. I was CONVINCED I would be taking a son home from the hospital sporting Star Trek gear, because honestly, that is just how my life is 99.9% of the time. But then, to my utter shock and surprise, Hubby calls me from work the next day and goes, "So, I'm really liking Enzo!" SAY WHAT? HOLD THE PHONE..... Did you just admit to liking a name that I picked? Lord, write this day down in history and PS can we make it official already so there is no going back?


So, despite Nevaeh screaming and crying reluctantly giving up her FAVORITE name Raleigh, we have finally decided on:


Enzo Anthony Maynard


I'm thrilled that our little man is gonna' have such a killer name and that he will have his brother Leo's middle name as well. These are bittersweet times in our world remembering our little one in heaven and being excited for baby Enzo to arrive in October. 


Enzo is way cool right? I mean, considering my family dates back to mafia on both sicilian sides, I certainly couldn't have gone with something less "cannoli friendly." For those of you who know my father, you understand what I mean. I am sure we will be hearing some rude, disappointed, angry interesting commentary about our choice of Enzo, but I think I am at the point where I will tell them to SUCK IT  thanks for your input. It is now one of my life goals to piss off as many people as I can with baby names, and frankly, I'm getting rather awesome at it! 


I just hope Enzo likes his name as much as I do! Thank goodness I got my way and let my italian/sicilian heritage run rampant yet again. :-) 

It's how much????? | Ranting, Laughing, Crying

Ahhhh, the joys of expecting a new baby. Pondering nursery design, picking out tiny layette, and folding precious little socks and hats are just the tip of the ice-burg when it comes to fun baby preparation. Who doesn't love "ooooooo-ing" and "aahhh-ing" over some of the cutest stuff you'll ever see? Am I right or what? 


As my next ultra sound quickly approaches... 2 weeks from this morning; not that I'm counting or anything... I am pondering nursery designs in my head. Needless to say, I am a pathological dedicated designer. I planned about 8 different weddings in my head when I first got engaged, and though that might seem excessive, it wasn't NEARLY ENOUGH! I just get so wrapped up in details and fun design elements that I have serious trouble committing to one design. After our wedding in 2005, I suffered from "acute wedding fall-out" ... yes this is an ACTUAL thing! I nearly lost my mind not having a project to plan, decor to pick out, or details to obsess over. It took me months and months to regain normalcy.


Then I got pregnant in 2006 and the fun planning began again. I pined and pondered the "ultimate nursery", which ate up most of my 9 month journey into motherhood. Luckily I didn't suffer from "acute nursery fall-out", probably because I had an infant strapped to my boobs for the next 12 months and sleep was something I would have paid for.


So here I am, baby #3 and it is time to plan the next nursery. Decisions, decisions, decisions..... It is SO hard for me to choose which direction to go in this time. Things I need to remember this time around: 


A) really should find out the gender of the baby BEFORE I spend countless hours obsessing exploring nursery options 
B) Set a budget.... cuz' ummmmm DUH 
C) Take a deep breath and ACTUALLY COMMIT TO A DESIGN


Okay so yes, these things are common sense, but I seem to refuse struggle with these 3 KEY ideas that are the basis to any successful design project. Already I am in over my head. Why you ask? Hmmm, well let's just say that my "google machine" is on overload with the amounts of crib bedding, wall decor, and paint options it's been researching. To top it off... the average price of the bedding sets I'm falling in love with debating over are $350! Note to self, MY OWN BEDDING DIDN'T COST THAT MUCH! 


As I sit here, attempting to reason with myself, I have to wonder why.... WHY oh WHY do I ALWAYS pick the MOST expensive goodies? I mean, is it a learned behavior? I could walk into a store with no price tags showing and STILL manage to pick the MOST EXPENSIVE item! UGH! 


Here are a few of the "lovelies" I've fallen for:

$585

$340

$395

$340.00

So yea... I think I better head back to the drawing board and re-think my incredible ideas.... or at least until I actually know the gender of the baby. Who knew baby planning was such a tough predicament! 

Hand-Pieced Quilts | Ranting, Laughing, Crying

This pregnancy has been stressful due to the obvious circumstances regarding my last pregnancy and of course the joys that every pregnancy brings, it was inevitable that this adventure would be long and arduous. Everything from panic attacks to heartburn has encumbered me and my sanity has been on the brink of wearing a white straight jacket and taking a break in a padded room. 


I knew I would need something to keep my mind occupied during the next 48  9 months. My daughter LOVES making crafts. I mean LOVES. Here is what our crafting menagerie looks like; well way messier than this LOL

So, I started with crafting with my 4 year old. It was a hobby I took up after we lost our son Leo. For some reason glueing, cutting, and glittering everything in sight was therapeutic. From sequined covered paper butterflies, to wedding ring collages, we covered every inch of our home in crafts. 

Well, mommy is a good sport, but FYI, I am SO SICK OF GLITTER! UGH! I knew as soon as I got pregnant that I would need a new hobby and fast. Funny right, considering my livelihood is photography {ummm you still need another hobby??} Don't ask. I love photography, but I need something more therapeutic to calm my nerves. 

So, I started looking back at my past trying to find hobbies I loved. I came across my old sewing box from junior high and high school. TADA! Chalk full of embroidery samplers. WOOHOO I think I might have found my answer. So I began to start my 80th embroidery sampler {and no, I have no use for them whatsoever} After a few weeks of that, I found that sewing by hand really does have a calming effect on me, but I was bored with embroidery for the most part. So, I decided to venture into uncharted waters and teach myself hand-pieced appliqué quilting.

I own a sewing machine, and could easily bust out a quilt in a few days, but the point of these projects is to keep my mind on the task and not on obsessing over things I can't control. In my true style, I went out and spent a small fortune on everything I need to make a masterpiece.

I am a week into my first project and LOVING IT! Everything is sewn by hand and ironically it is the most therapeutic activity I have found to date! I have already scoured the library for quilt pattern books and have a laundry list of projects I'd like to begin. Luckily, these handmade masterpieces take forever, so all I need to do is choose, buy the materials, and STICK WITH IT. 

Yes, of course I know I am 27  and already taking up quilting? {cricket cricket} But I am an old soul, and after everything I've been through, I'm not afraid to give in to comforts from time gone by. 

So here's to quilting, here's to no more cleaning up spilt glitter on my wood floors, and hello to handicrafts. :-)

Menu Planning | Ranting, Laughing, Crying

My 2010 New Years Resolution was to start menu planning at least 2 weeks at a time. HA! RIGHT..... menu planning...... I'll get right on that train. So, yes, I have spent a ridiculous amount of time reading blogs like simplemom.net on how to properly and successfully menu plan. To be honest, I was hooked, ready, motivated.... and I got as far as writing 2 days worth of menus in a notebook. Huh, why am I not following through? Maybe it is because my boring blue notebook isn't screaming "fun menu planning", so alas, I gave in and purchased a fun and sassy notebook, knowing that this is all I would need to be successful. Let's just say, I got to 3 days worth of magic menus before throwing my pen down and reverting to staring into the abyss of my pantry searching for the perfect thing to make for dinner. 

Fast-forward to this evening, April 12, 2011, and still no menu plan, UGH. I call my best friend and plead with her "WHAT THE FRENCH TOAST am I gonna' make for  dinner?" She laughs and says I don't know. Ah, back to square one. I reluctantly find a plethora of ingredients and craft a dinner anyone one would be proud of, but only after wasting 4 hours of my life contemplating what to make. There must be a better way....


That is when my prayers are answered {insert angels singing here} I was perusing online recipes when I stumbled upon Allrecipes.com menu planner! OMG it only took me HOW LONG to find the ultimate menu planning tool on the planet! WOOHOO! As someone who already stores personal recipes online, this has got to be the easiest transition EVER. 


So yes, I have spent the last 2 hours entering recipes into my new profile. But, it is SO WORTH IT! All I have to do is click on: new menu, select my recipes I want to make for the week, and voile!! my menu is planned perfectly and my grocery list is ready for me to take to the store! How can it get easier than that? Oh and the other top selling point? $22.95 for a 2 year subscription. Sign me up baby!


I really think I hit the jackpot on this one, and I pray that starting next week, my hours pondering meals will be zilch! 

11 weeks and counting | Ranting, Laughing, Crying

YIPPIE! Baby is the size of a lime... not sure if it's a key lime or just your typical run-of-the-mill lime, but I'm happy just the same. I'm not sure how this lime-sized baby can make my waistline expand to gargantuan sizes so early, but I'm gonna blame it on the obviously VERY LARGE lime growing in my uterus.  

So check this out, I was on a quest for a serious maternity support contraption, as baby #3 is already making my lower back seize up at the most random and inconvenient  awesome times. I mean, it's cool to fall down at home, but not so much dropping your kid off at preschool.. Am I right or what? SO, Nordstroms to the rescue....


I begrudgingly  happily treated myself to this sexy number... doesn't that make you want me? 

PS: I don't look a 16th as good as this chick... so thanks Nordstroms for boasting my maternity confidence from "oh I don't look that bad, to WHAT THE FRENCH TOAST I am horrific!"

 So, yes, this sexy beast is the BEST maternity support piece I've bought. My back says "THANK YOU". For a mere $68, it better be right?? My only question is, do you think they will let me wear it during my c-section?

Kisses & Disses | Ranting, Laughing, Crying

 

Welcome to Kisses & Disses.... 

the part of the blog where I divulge my latest likes and dislikes from the past weeks.

It all started early last week... I was blatantly trying to avoid puking for the 10th time in 2 hours and decided a mid-morning shopping trip would do the trick. I wandered through a neighborhood antique store, browsing for trinkets I just could not live without. Low and behold... I scored on an vintage baby cradle. Within 3 seconds of spotting it, I had to have it. Baby #3 has to have some new swag {well, in this case, very old swag}. Who cares that it took up the ENTIRE back seat of my car to transport home? I mean, who wouldn't understand letting their 4 year old ride in the front seat of the car just this once? I mean, jeeezzz, she wanted to take one for the team {don't judge me}. 

As I pull up in my driveway, hubby comes out to help me unload the "beast" of a cradle into the house. Being such an analytical  engineer buzz kill helper, he looks at the cradle and doesn't say two words. Granted, I am almost jumping up and down with excitement over this magical find. I patiently wait

for his response to my incredible find, and all I am met with are "crickets"... {as in the sound of crickets because the silence is SO deafening} I shrug, and defeatedly make my way into the house... reminding myself that there isn't much that gets my hubby excited.

This leads me to this weeks kisses & disses.....

DISSES

- husbands not understanding how important rare, 1840's cradle's are to their wives

-Lord help me, I swear hubby carries a stale loaf of bread in his pants so he can 

scatter crumbs Shawshank Redemption-style on my floors.

- Pregnancy insomnia... so reading is cool, but not when you read an entire library worth of books every night! 

-Listening to hubs OBSESS NAG SEARCH DREAM dive me NUTS trying to find an iPad2.... DUDE CHILL OUT.... you'll get one eventually, and PS buying the dang thing so you can watch movies on the plane less than once a month is a little ridiculous. 

- Antique dolls. Not sure why, but they freak me out!

KISSES!

- Anything related to Pride and Prejudice. I just finished 2 books by Sharon Lathan extending this incredible love story. I can't wait to read the next 4 books in her series!

-Dr. Pepper, enough said

- Staring at my spin bike {because it's just as good as riding it}

- Preparing for the tasting show this weekend at Camas Meadows {let's hope I can manage to NOT forget anything vital; like my sample albums, or price sheets, or a pen for that matter}

-Depression milk glass because it makes me feel like I'm listening to a Harry Connick Jr. song while sitting in a rocking chair on a porch at sunset.

Sexy Attributes of a Pregnant Mom | Ranting, Laughing, Crying

Being pregnant has some incredible attributes that I just cannot go without sharing. This is baby #3 for me, and let me just say that if I thought I was large with my first child, boy was I mistaken. I already look like I've eaten the baby #1 version of myself for breakfast! UGH! I am one of those cursed  blessed women, who show about 2 minutes after conception. Don't get me wrong, I mean, who doesn't love a cute baby bump right? BUT when your bump leads people to ask when you are due and you say "October" problems begin to arise. It's hard to explain my Hindenburg appearance so early in my pregnancy. 


Already my closet is sporting maternity clothes and as cute as those might be, I'm already bored with my belly enhancing attire. I secretly try to sneak in a normal piece of my regular wardrobe but one glance in the mirror sends me into a deep "sigh". So, I guess my thong Brazilian bikini I wore in Hawaii this past November is out of the question? :-) We wouldn't want anyone trying to push me back out to sea after mistaking me for a beached whale. I mean how would I explain that one at play group? "How was your weekend? Oh it was fun, a group from PETA found me on the beach and tried to reunite me with my underwater family." Ah the joys of being pregnant!


Every morning I wake up and puke for a good five minutes. I talk myself up by saying things like "think how hot your abs will be after 9 months of this!!" Oh the joys. I sport the most lame FASHIONABLE sea sickness bracelets on my wrists, just to be sure people know which club I'm rooting for these days. I mean seriously, could someone throw me a bone and design some of these suckers that aren't elephant grey? 


My 4 year old DEMANDS nicely asks me to tell EVERYONE WE MEET that I am pregnant. Hey MOM, You better tell them about the baby in your tummy! Yes dear, mommy will get right on it. So now, in case my physique didn't give it away, I currently yell out LOOK AT ME I'M PREGNANT at the top of my lungs as I enter any retail establishment. I know, it sounds extreme, but I am so tired these days that I just don't have the energy to tell each person in the store individually. 


I'm so lazy tired fatigued moody weepy  motivated that I take a nap just about every single day. AWESOME right? It's like I'm back in preschool except I don't get a nice teacher bringing me a snack at 11am. Thank goodness my 4 year old still naps, or I would really have a pickle on my hands. 


As each week goes by I laugh at the life I lead. This glamours lifestyle of being a mother is just fabulous! Who needs heels when they make stretchy pants?? Lactating at 8 weeks pregnant? Cool right? Nothing like hearing a screaming baby in the mall and having let-down through your shirt... awesome. "Why's your shirt wet? Oh, I'm a pro wet t-shirt contest athlete... didn't you know?" 


Seriously though, all these magical attributes make me feel extra special. They remind me of the little baby growing inside me and how great everything will be  when a healthy baby is in my arms... and how I wait for the day to tell my kids "PAYBACK IS A BITCH"

Laundry Nemesis | Ranting, Laughing, Crying

I'm not sure how my relationship with laundry got so off track, but let me just say that I have a HATE HATE relationship with it. How in the hell do I have 12 loads of laundry for the 3 of us? It makes NO sense to me, and yet every couple weeks, there my nemesis appears. Despite my thorough attempts to catch up on it, it never seems to end. I have stooped as low as to throw laundry parties at my house with my mother, who diligently sits and folds mountain of clothes with me. Last week, it was so bad that multiple days she took baskets of laundry home to wash at her house! WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME? 


I completely agree that this is MY issue; that if my laziness and lack of motivation would cease, I might in fact FINISH my damn laundry. I'd like to blame having a rambunctious 4 year old, having a husband who works from home, being 9 weeks pregnant, the rainy weather, not having enough caffeine.... but in reality, I just need to SUCK IT UP and finish my dang laundry.


Life is getting grim in my ripe old age of 27. I sit and fantasize of a day when I have a laundry service, who not only does all my laundry on a weekly basis, but who also puts it ALL AWAY. I mean, who dreams that pathetically at my age? But hey, I'm gonna' keep it real and say it is in my top 10 of dreams at this point in my life. 


As I ponder baby #3's arrival in October, I'm attempting to psych myself up for darling newborn laundry. Maybe it won't be so bad... let's pray they create pills for inducing an obsessive need for doing laundry by then!